Friday, February 15, 2008

Relationship advice from Bible

It's been speculated on, torn apart during heated debates, yet still not rendered threadbare - such is the eternal lure of the relation between man and woman. Love it or hate it, it is safe to say that every adult crosses its boundaries - in marriage, or as the Bible would pronounce, in sin - at least once in a lifetime.

Evidently, marriage is holy, but affairs are a strict no-no. So what else does the Bible say about marriage?

As it happens, a lot! Apparently, the Old and New Testaments put together account for over 500 references to the words marriage, married, husband, and wife. Here are a few we thought were particularly great...
· It is good for a man not to marry. But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. [1 Corinthians 7:1-2] Okay - let's quickly give the first line a miss, as it applies only to those singles that would prefer to remain celibate for spiritual reasons - in other words, for those who intend to become priests or nuns.The rest applies to all those thinking of getting through life switching one partner with the next every so often! The Bible doesn't approve - and would much rather you wed and learn from your wife or husband, rather than pine for companionship and intimacy, and in the process, fall prey to temporary liaisons.Karan is presently swinging between the big "Should I" or "Shouldn't I" take the plunge decision. When he heard this quote, he jumped on it, and took it as a sign. "I should" - he grinned, saying, "Enough one night stands, it's time for serious action!"
· Then the Lord God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.' [Genesis 2:18] For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. [Genesis 2:24] Karan's was a sound decision. As these words reflect, matrimony seems to have pretty much been part of God's plan for humankind, and hence the words 'holy' matrimony. Most of us appreciate and desire to have the camaraderie and affection our parents share. A sound takeaway from this extract is to consider your marriage as the starting point of a lifelong commitment to build your own family, not so much to take your ancestral family forward - that is a natural consequence. So - give your marriage your all.
· Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. [Ephesians 4:31-32] If you follow this advice, you'll probably end up with a dream relation. 'Be kind' - it sounds so simple, but its funny how often husbands and wives forget to be kind to once another. You were meant to be best companions, remember?Radha wished Suresh would recall how tenderhearted he'd been during their dates. Ten years on, he seemed to be all nerves with a temper to boot. She was ready to forgive his outbreaks for she knew he was facing a hard time at work, but it would make life much easier of he could reach out to her - not necessarily physically, but with a kind word, a kindly look and smile. Certainly - small niceties go a long way in cementing a marriage.
· Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all transgressions. [Proverbs 10:12] Just the same, it's hard to forgive someone who has erred, to the point where you feel used. As Tina learnt, that's the point when hatred sets in. She hated the way her husband Nilesh had thought it wouldn't matter if he had his way every time, to the point that when he eventually had an affair, he came back expecting her to take him back without a whimper.Still - Tina persevered. Why? The negativity that had set in wasn't total, for she found it hard to let go the love that had blossomed for this same man years ago when they were in school. In his heart, Nilesh seemed the same blubbering kid she'd played with all her life. Two years later, you'd never have believed this was the same couple. It was impossible for Nilesh to keep going wrong, with the canopy of love that hung over him.
Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband. [Ephesians 5:21-33] A marriage is all about love and respect - says the Bible - two values that are the bedrock of any long-lasting happy marriage.
Behold not everybody's beauty: and tarry not among women. [Ecclus. 42:12] If you're seeking to preserve your marriage, remember your wife is your number one priority! So go easy on the compliments you dish out to lady colleagues.
Let your manhood be a blessing; rejoice in the wife of your youth. Let her charms and tender embrace satisfy you. Let her love alone fill you with delight. [Proverbs 5:18-19, TLB] Just goes to show that romance is not only for your youth, but can (nay, should) stay alive till well into your old age.
Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. [Colossians 3:19 NIV] Wives are going to love this one. Husbands, what say you?
If you are angry, don't sin by nursing your grudge. Don't let the sun go down with you still angry - get over it quickly. [Ephesians 4:26 TLB] So you have no excuses for binge drinking, or making a fool of yourself - and blaming it on your squabble. Go on - say sorry!
Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other's faults because of your love. Be led together by the Holy Spirit to be at peace with one another. [Ephesians 4:2-3 TLB] Nobody's perfect - not even that hot office chick, or the hunk you were eyeing. Allow your common interests to bring you closer, or explore spirituality together to live and love in peace.

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